Friday, December 24, 2010

Day 67; It Never Ends

I had just gotten finished telling you about how my stepdad comes out in different, strange outfits when my brother walked into the living room like this...


How on earth did he get a hold of rugby shorts?! He doesn't even play rugby!!

I felt extremely uncomfortable while Bobby was having the time of his life flaunting around the house showing off his new favorite shorts.

"These are my new around-the-house shorts," he declared.

OVER MY DEAD BODY THEY ARE.

There are plans to burn this awful article of clothing that will be underway immediately.

Day 66; Crentist the Dentist

You can give me shots and take my blood. Heck, you can even do open heart surgery on me if you want. But don't take me to the dentist.

Don't be fooled by the cute, little office. This is a bad place, people.

I can't stand the dentist.

Okay, that's not fair. I actually have an awesome dentist. It's his nurses that I can't take. "Why, Kelly," you ask? Well, honey, I'll tell you. These women come clean my teeth before the dentist comes and does the final look over, right? WRONG.

What they do is not "clean my teeth." No. They tear up my gums. They rearrange my teeth right there. They blow my mouth up to smithereens. That's what they do.

After every trip to the dentist, my mouth is so sore and cut up that I can barely chew for the rest of the day. I have to knock back pills to ease the pain.

Well I had my annual teeth cleaning on Tuesday and my experience was a little different. The younger doctor there was actually the one who cleaned my teeth this time. It was the best dentist trip ever. He was gentle, thorough, and quick. He made no small talk like the nurses do because of the tools and fingers that were poking all around my gums and teeth. I'll never understand why the nurses do that. CLEARLY, I cannot answer you.

Anyway, you get the gist. I will ask for him every time I go to the dentist from now on.

My life has been forever altered. I'll be able to sleep again.

Day 65; Practice Makes Perfect

I've been practicing patience in a big way. I would like to say that it's something I saw in myself and decided to fix, but that would be a big, fat lie. God is forcing me to practice patience in various ways lately. He's been giving me lots of opportunities to improve my willingness to endure.

So here I am...trying to be patient. I'll get there...

A good example of some improvement was Monday night when I took my brother to his girlfriend's house in Algiers....during rush hour traffic. Going to the Westbank was a piece of cake. Got right over the bridge with a breeze, and we were at her house in no time. After I had dropped Bobby off, however...Well, that's a different story.

The bridge and interstate looked like someone vomited every car in the country onto this one route.


This picture in no way compares to what it really looked like, but I couldn't get a good picture of the chaos so this'll do. This was taken before I even got on the bridge and about 15 minutes before I had to be in Slidell for Kori's birthday dinner.

Did I turn into the Hulk? Did I yell at cars on the road that I mentally dubbed morons? No.

Sure, internally, emotionally, spiritually, and metaphysically I was cursing every driver on the road while imagining myself running right through all of them. Sure. But the point was I didn't ever actually say anything out loud, right? And I didn't even run them off the bridge like I was picturing in my head!! I'm good, right?

Sure, in my mind I turned into a Hulk that could have destroyed the city of New Orleans. Sure. But I didn't show signs of that externally. So basically, I was the picture of grace in every way.

Because as long as it all stays in your head and you never actually say it out loud, it's like it never existed, right?

Wait...is this not how it works?? Gosh, I thought it was...

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Day 64; And on the 8th day...

In the creation of the world, everyone forgets the 8th day...

On that day, God created the Double Doozie. And He said, "For Kelly." And He saw that it was good.


You don't even know the half of it.

Some say they are sin but God Himself said that they were good!! Sin? I don't think so.

If you try one, your world will get rocked. You'll see colors you didn't know existed. You'll smell scents you didn't know you could smell. Life will make sense and you'll experience an internal harmony that will make you 3 years younger.

What? You don't believe me?!

Day 63; Weird Nick

My stepdad is weird.

He has different get-ups that he comes out into the living room in. Whether it be a police muscle shirt, some weird hat, or basketball shorts, a dress shirt, and a trucker hat...


...he keeps us guessing...and entertained.

No matter how "off" he is sometimes, I'll always appreciate these weird outfits and Mr. Nickie-isms deep down.

Plus, he's always my scapegoat. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Psh...you think I'm weird. Have you met my stepdad?!

and

Look, I can't help being this strange. Have you met my stepdad??!

Day 62; Graduations

Two of my friends, Barrett and Christina, graduated on Friday.


It was both exciting and a little depressing at the same time. Depressing because they won't be around anymore. Exciting because both of them are going to go off and start the new chapter of their lives!!

Graduations get me excited about the future.

If I was Greek, I'd scream "Opa!" right now.


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Day 61; The Gingerbread...Lump

We decided to get in the Christmas spirit and make a gingerbread house late last week.

It wasn't a fail...necessarily. We made the dough which came out just fine but when we read the directions in the recipe, it said to put the dough in the refrigerator for two hours...

We got started late so this left us at 11 PM with a lump of gingerbread dough that needed to cool in the fridge until 1 AM.

No, thank you.

So here is the extent of our gingerbread house.

Booyah!

It sure smells wonderful!

Don't be jealous ;D

Day 60; My Amazing Roommate

My roommate, Stephanie, is really wonderful.

She puts up with me and that's enough to earn her a place in Heaven, that's for sure. I can be a bit of a hand full.

Anyway, she gave me the sweetest surprise the other day!

She made me a delicious funfetti birthday cake!


Haha, "birthday" couldn't fit!

She also brought me to see Tangled which was an awesome movie! AND she gave me a movie!

I totally wasn't expecting it and it was the greatest little surprise!

Love you, Steph! Thank you so much!

Day 59; B O B

I figured out a way to copy screens on my phone. Beware. No one is safe.

Here's a conversation from my brother last Tuesday.


Yes...he's in my phone under Booby.

Bobby doesn't drink or anything but he was being really weird via texting that night so I thought I'd ask.

By the way, everyone been to whenparentstext.com? It's the best site ever.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Day 58; Schools Out for Winter

Now that school is out, I can finally see and hang out with friends who I barely even caught glimpses of during the semester.

Like Hilary!

Attractive, no?

I got to see a lot of my long lost buds this past week and it was wonderful! So excited to catch up with everyone again!

Day 57; Ren Fest

A few of my friends and I went to the Renaissance Festival in Hammond last weekend.

It was fun!

A few of us dressed up in period clothes despite the cold weather. We drank ale, ate some kettle corn, shot arrows, and watched the different shows around the grounds.

Everyone had a blast!


Day 56; Bye, bye pills

I got some amazing news on Saturday.

Well, first, let me give you the back story. So when I was 9 years old, I passed out one day for no good reason. Just clonked out. For about seven years after that, I found myself getting dizzy and lightheaded frequently. Also, I would have random episodes of cold sweats and loss of vision and hearing. Finally, when it got really bad, my mom took me to a cardiologist who put me through a number of tests. In the end, he diagnosed me with Vasovagal Syncope which is the most common form of fainting. Also, I was told that I had  about 8,000 extra heart beats and about 1,500 couplets which are when you have two premature ventricular contractions in a row. Which happens but maybe not 1,500 extra times...

A vasovagal syncope episode is a brief loss of consciousness due to a sudden drop in heart rate and blood pressure. Typically, no treatment is necessary unless the episodes happen so often that it affects your quality of life. Which is what was happening to me. So I was prescribed some blood pressure medicine and sent on my way.

It's been five years. 

I lost a little weight since then, started eating a little healthier, and sleeping a little better. About a year ago, if I forgot to take my blood pressure medicine for just a day, my body became a mess. I would get weak and become unable to stand or walk for long periods of time. There even came a point where I questioned whether or not I would be able to ever be a mother because it was so bad. I prayed really, really hard for years. I was scared.

Well, about 5 months ago I went a day without taking my medicine. I had forgotten, and when I realized it at the end of the day, I also realized I had been just fine all day. So I went a few more days without taking it. Fine. And then a couple of weeks. Fine. Those weeks turned into a couple of months which turned into 4 months. And I was fine! Felt just as strong and healthy as ever.

I took the news to my cardiologist who decided it was time to do the tests over again while I was off my medicine. He called me back Saturday with the results. I had completely overcome and outgrown vasovagal syncope. Not only that, but what was once 8,000 extra heart beats was now 300 and decreasing. And what was once 1,500 couplets was now about 65 or lower. All of my levels like blood pressure and cholesterol were healthy and it was if I had never had a heart condition.

The doctor said he wasn't sure what happened or how it happened, and he assured me that it doesn't happen very often. But I was taken off the medicine and was told to keep up the good work.

So I said goodbye to my pills...


And I nearly cried from the feeling of this weight being lifted off my shoulders.

And I gave thanks to God for this miracle that I had been praying for for so long.

And I was free.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Day 55; Crunk during Finals

Look, I turned 21 during Finals Week. Yes, it was a big deal, but there was no way on Earth I was gonna go drinking in the middle of taking these tests...

But when people saw this bottle sitting next to my laptop as I was studying throughout the week, they talked...


First of all, if you read under the words "Coffee Creamer," you'll see some clarification.

NON-ALCOHOLIC

It's small though. Way smaller than BAILEYS', that's for sure. So I had people walking up to me and saying, "Dang, Kelly. I know you just turned 21 but, I mean, it is Finals Week.."

Duh...

Would someone give me the benefit of the doubt please?! Clearly, I am not going to go get schwasted smack dab in the middle of such an important week.

This would be really classy. Me standing up in the middle of one of my tests screaming, "Interpretation of aesthetic texts??! MORE LIKE I'M PLASTERED AND I WANT TO PARRRRRTAYYYYYYY!!!! WOOOO!"

And then I would barf on my final...Classy.

Day 54; Creepy Santa

A couple of friends and I went to the midnight premiere of The Chronicles of Narnia; Voyage of the Dawntreader.

Because it was nearly midnight, Santa wasn't sitting at his usual spot in front of the theater.

So this is their solution...


This painfully creepy Santa dummy.

If I was a child and I saw this, I would be petrified of the idea that this lurk was planning on coming to my home in the middle of the night. Petrified.

I would set up booby traps everywhere so that I could take him out. Because look at him...he's got creeper written all over.

Why not just say, "Sorry, kids! Santa had to go back to the North Pole to help the elves get ready for Christmas Eve! He'll be back tomorrow at 11:30 A.M. Thanks!"

No. Santa goes to lunch, out comes Creeper Claus. And all the children pee on themselves...

Day 53; Finals Week Crazies

About half way through finals week, people started getting a little crazy around CTK.

Tents were put up near the classrooms above the office, a hammock was strung up over the gathering area, and there was just a lot of delirium and dancing all the time...


Finals Week at CTK is a time of great internal confusion. You're super stressed about the final examinations that, in some cases, can make or break your final grades, but you're having a lot of fun at the 24/7 party going on at the Church. There's tons of food, coloring, and weird games going on everywhere.

After it's over I'm usually left really disoriented. There are always high levels of exhaustion, stress, happiness, and goofiness that I can just never make sense of. It's overwhelming..

I can't...handle it....*faints*

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Day 52; One day I almost died in an elevator..

I missed the first half of my French final because of a doctor's appointment during Dead-Week-That's-Not-So-Dead Week so I had to make it up during Finals Week.

My teacher's office is in Hodges Hall on the fourth floor. Because I'm lazy, I took the elevator.

WORST. MISTAKE. OF. MY. LIFE.

That elevator tried to eliminate me. Here's the thing, though. Kelly means Female Warrior and Brave. This means that I'm a fighter. Which means I can't be eliminated. Because then I'll just eliminate the eliminator.

What then?

So I stepped into this beast...

The doors closed and before take off, the elevator started shaking so hard that it literally knocked me over into the wall. First it started going the wrong direction and tried taking me to the basement. But halfway through it's descent, it started shaking again and changed course. Once it finally got to the fourth floor, it began to growl and shake even harder.

I would like to tell you that I said something like, "Not on my watch!" And then kicked or pried the doors open, but that's not how it happened exactly...

I did what I do in any situation that shows signs that I might be in real danger--I froze.

I would like to tell you how the elevator started to free fall. And how during that free fall, I forced myself through the top escape door and jumped to a ledge of one of the fast passing doors while the elevator crashed into a fiery death. 

But...that's not really what I did. I stayed very stationary in fact. Locked and glued to one spot in the corner. I probably whimpered. Maybe not.

When the doors opened at the fourth floor, I stepped out and counted my blessings. There was also a sense of victory...Not that I had done anything...Just victorious because I lived. Perhaps I even maybe, kind of, sort of, convinced myself that I had defeated the elevator on my own. Taught it it's lesson.

Ha!! Take that, you no good, sorry excuse for a vessel!

After my test, I took the stairs down...

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Day 51; My Birthday

I turned 21 on the Monday of finals week.

It was a really wonderful birthday!

That night I worked in the office, and Michael, Therese, and I wrote a really inspiring short story.


We each wrote a line of the tale. I think we titled it "Bernard the Caterpillar." This is how it went.

M: One day there was this caterpillar...
K: Who was sitting on a leaf...
T: But you couldn't see him because he was covered by a bigger leaf...
M: The caterpillar's name was Bernard...
K: He was green with yellow polka-dots...
T: He couldn't see very well...
M: He started eating the leaf when...
K: A big, giant wasp flew by him...
T: But he thought it was a rain cloud because he couldn't see very well...
M: And then…
K: Bernard said, "Looks like it's going to rain…"
T: And then a big gust of wind knocked him off the leaf into a strange, new world...
M: By this point, he was pissed SO HE WHIPPED OUT HIS ROCKET LAUNCHERRRRR!!!!
K: And tried to rocket himself back to the leaf but he shot straight into the wasp, instead…
M: >:(
T: The wasp couldn't see Bernard because he was a small caterpillar but he still tried to hurt Bernard anyway...
M: Realizing one was not enough, HE WHIPPED OUT A SECOND ROCKET LAUNCHER!!! :D
K: AND  NUKED JAPAN!!!
M: ...racist…
T: I'm leaving….
K: :(


I'm working on finding a publisher.

Day 50; Finals Week Begins

This is the screen I stared at most of Sunday.


Those are different articles with stances on whether or not laptops should be allowed in classrooms. I had to write an argumentative essay on the topic for my English final. The paper was extremely easy to write and I got it in exactly one minute before it was due because I'm good. Too good.

Kelly Elizabeth, Queen of Procrastination. Toeing the line of danger, one deadline at a time.

Day 49; Christmas Season

I'm crazy about Christmas. That's because I love the season. Little baby Jesus, eggnog, Santa, the music, the lights, mistletoe, the decorations, the weather, all of it.



I love it so much that I get really intense when it comes to preserving the spirit.

As in Christmas season does not start a minute before November 26th of each year for me.

Here's why...

I used to get pumped when Christmas music was coming on in October. And I used to get super excited when Christmas decorations and commercials were up well before Thanksgiving. So when my stepdad, who is a Christmas fanatic just like me, put up a million decorations the day after Halloween one year, I was ecstatic. But by the time the long awaited holiday finally came, I was all Christmas-ed out. Christmas wasn't ruined, per say. It just wasn't the same. That year I realized how important it was to keep the special season sacred. And so ever since then, I've done just that.

Not one Christmas jingle, not one ornament, not one drop of eggnog before November 26th (the day after Thanksgiving.)

It bothers my friends who are a little less tight about those things. I can be a bit...pushy...sometimes.

But I don't want anyone's Christmas spirit to be spread too thin!!! 

WE MUST PRESERVE THE SEASON!!

*deep breathe*

Merry Christmas, folks..

Monday, December 13, 2010

Day 48; Doggy dogs

This is probably the most inconvenient time in my life to get a dog. I live in an apartment complex that doesn't allow animals within a 100 foot radius, I have no money, and I'm barely ever home long enough to even just take care of myself. However, I have never wanted a puppy more than I do right now. A few of my friends have gotten dogs recently, and it's really driving home the desire.

This is Asher, Kori's new pup...

He's a pure bred Siberian Husky, the cutest thing you've ever seen, and a real rascal. He came for a visit last Friday, and I died a little. He's sweet and soft and adorable and playful and everything a puppy should be.

Daniel got a dog, too, that he named Atlas. That dog is the calmest, gentlest, strongest dog this side of Balto. I'm a fan. A big, big fan.

It's taking every ligament, muscle, and bone in my body to keep me from running off to get a German Shepard puppy right this second.

The time will come. Oh, boy, it'll come.

Day 47; Performance Studies

This semester I took a performance studies course where each individual chose different literary works to perform in front of our class. We performed three different pieces; a poem, a short story, and a compiled piece of different texts of our choice.

At the end of the semester, the performance studies area put on a fall showcase to show what the undergraduates taking these different classes had been working on. 


I was actually asked by my professor to perform my poetry piece but, unfortunately, my schedule did not allow it. It was such a flattering offer though!!

The poem I chose for that assignment has really stuck with me and so I will share it with you!

It's called Do Not! by Stevie Smith.

Do not despair of man, and do not scold him,   
Who are you that you should so lightly hold him?   
Are you not also a man, and in your heart
Are there not warlike thoughts and fear and smart?   
Are you not also afraid and in fear cruel,
Do you not think of yourself as usual,
Faint for ambition, desire to be loved,
Prick at a virtuous thought by beauty moved?   
You love your wife, you hold your children dear,   
Then say not that Man is vile, but say they are.   
But they are not. So is your judgement shown   
Presumptuous, false, quite vain, merely your own   
Sadness for failed ambition set outside,
Made a philosophy of, prinked, beautified   
In noble dress and into the world sent out
To run with the ill it most pretends to rout.
Oh know your own heart, that heart's not wholly evil,   
And from the particular judge the general,   
If judge you must, but with compassion see life,   
Or else, of yourself despairing, flee strife.

Day 46; Crème de Marscapone aux Fraises

Official recipe for the Crème de Marscapone aux Fraises


Preparation Time: 10 Minutes

Ingredients: (4 people)

2 cups Marscapone Cheese
1 cup Strawberries
 1/4 cup Granulated Sugar
3 tbsp. Milk
2 tsp. Balsamic Vinegar
2 tbsp. Honey
1 Lemon

How to Make It:

1. In a bowl, stir the marscapone, sugar, and milk together.
2. Shred a little bit of the lemon rind, and stir it into the marscapone mixture.
3. Cut strawberries into quarters. Mix together the honey and vinegar.
4. In individual serving dishes or glasses, layer alternately the marscapone followed by a layer of strawberries. Repeat until finished. Then pour a little honey and vinegar sauce over the top.
Voilà!

Variations:

You can use any other berries along with the strawberries, or any other fruit.
You can also replace the honey/vinegar sauce (it may sound a little strange, but really it's delicious!) with any other fruit sauce you choose.

Thanks to famousfrenchdesserts.com

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Day 45; French Bakin'

I love to bake. I love it, love it, love it!

For my French class, some of us are doing culture presentations. Because I have the world's biggest sweet tooth, I'm doing my presentation on French desserts.

Which means baking!!

You don't even know how excited I was, haha!
I made Crème de Marscapone aux Fraises which came out beautifully.

I also attempted to make real chocolate eclairs... Let's just say it didn't work out. I learned some lessons about French pastries, though, and will definitely be taking these babies on again soon.

Until then, Bon Appétit!

Day 44; No Reveille...

This is what deception looks like...


"Oh, great! It's Monday! A new Daily Reveille is out!"

No. Wrong. Even though it's Monday, there are no new Reveilles.  What you see here is a stand full of last week's papers. What you see here is betrayal.

The university paper is pretty awful in itself, but that's not why I get it. It's the crossword puzzle that I'm after every day. And when it's not there, I feel cheated. And then heads roll...

And people die...

Day 43; Beards and Bobby

I don't know who said it was okay for my brother to turn into a man but I don't remember allowing it.

I came home and he looked like this;


After looking like this a year ago;


What the heck, Bobby...

I was not prepared for this. I called him the other day and thought it was a man who had stolen his phone.

Since when does he date, and grow beards, and get big, and have a deep voice?!

Why is this so hard for me to accept? He was suppose to stay little and annoying.

Puberty can GO. HOME.