Monday, February 22, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
The Lenten season is probably my favorite season of all time. I learn and grow the most during this time so it’s always a total win for me. Also, I love the fact that this season has not been completely commercialized like Christmas or Easter. Well…the whole no meat on Friday thing kind of has but that is really it.
I get extremely hardcore during Lent. I’m all about the three traditional practices; prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. Through these three observances we work on our relationships with God (through prayer), ourselves (through fasting), and our neighbors (through almsgiving).
Currently I’m working on what I want to do as far as prayer goes. I’m thinking about reading the bible each night since my knowledge of scripture is limited. I have an idea of what I want to do as an almsgiving but I rather keep that one to myself. That one is always more personal for me and I have no idea why.
As far as giving something up to help myself grow, I have chosen… Drum roll, please.
*intense drum interlude*
Dun, dun, duuuuuuuun.
Yes. You heard me. Make-up. “Why,” you ask?
Great question! Well, I don’t typically wear and excessive amount of make-up but I do use it every day to cover what I want covered and to accent what I want accented. It’s embarrassing to say, but I believe it has become a bit of a crutch for me. I never leave the apartment without it on. Even though I wash my face every morning and night, my waterproof mascara is very hard to get off. Consequently, I’ve rarely seen myself without one speck of make-up on.
That point brings me to what made me make this decision. During this past winter break, there was a about a four day period where I just stopped putting make-up on. Eventually, the mascara came completely off and I was left with being completely natural. I took one look at myself and immediately went for the mascara and blush. It was in that moment, I realized that that was a problem.
Here I am preaching to all my fellow sisters that they should love themselves and understand that they’re beautiful while I’m over here unsatisfied with myself until I make my face up.
Make-up isn’t a bad thing, mind you. It’s fun to make yourself up! As long as you understand that you are beautiful without all of that nonsense on your face, you’re good to go. I’ve just recently realized that I may not actually be there just yet!
So make-up it is. I’m ashamed to say that I have a feeling it’s going to be a really tough vice to give up, however, I’m confident that I will learn and grow in a big way.
Best of luck on your Lenten promises!!
I'll be sure to let you know how mine goes!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Libbs went to go get some deodorant while #2 searched for the brownie ingredients she needed. While kind of wandering around looking for her after I had found what I needed, I finally spotted her in the middle of one of the aisles.
I stood at the end of her aisle and did this raptor imitation I do. The raptor is a development between something from Avatar and this dinosaur thing Cray-Cray does. I don't know why I do this, but I am ashamed to say I had been doing it all weekend in Lafayette at this conference we went to. There are pictures...
It comes complete with a screeching/growling sound and body motions.
So I'm standing there at the end of the aisle in the open doing this....thing. I figured no one would see because it was about 12:30 in the morning and no one was really there.
In the corner of my eye I saw someone stop. I looked over and it's these two young guys just staring at me with these faces of confusion and shock.
Can you blame them?
I was pretending to be a raptor...
I felt my face get really hot and so I looked down in embarrassment. I told them sorry in a quiet voice -- I had no idea why I was apologizing -- and proceeded down the aisle to #2 who was killing herself laughing at this point. I literally laid on the ground in the middle of the aisle and curled up into the fetal position mourning the loss of my dignity.
I made a silent vow to myself right then that I would never leave my apartment again.
Monday, February 1, 2010
I am stubborn and hardheaded. I have an extreme amount of pride that gets me in to trouble more than anything. I lie...A LOT. I’m lazy. I am an adult who skips meals because I literally forget to eat. I don’t take care of myself well enough so my friends and family suffer. I have let so many people down this year that I'm afraid to count the casualties. I am an overly dramatic person. Most of the time, I’m too passionate for my own good. My head is so far in the clouds that I fear I’ll never come back down again. Six out of the seven days of the week are bad hair days for me. I am the world’s biggest hypocrite. I am also the most self-centered person I have ever met. And like everyone else, I am my own worst enemy.
I have woken up every day for the past month and prayed to God that I may love like Christ and live like His mother. But do I ever succeed? No. Never. Not one day. Talk about a blow to the ole ego, eh?
It kind of makes me sick to my stomach when I think about how badly I fail every day.
But then I remember.
I am not perfect.
But I am loved. Not just loved but adored. He adored me so much that He died for me. No matter what I have ever done or ever will do, He will always love me in the most unconditional and purest way you could ever imagine.
I am not perfect. I fall every day several times a day but I’m trying. I swear I am. I am trying to figure out how to live a life that will glorify my Father. I’m just a girl. I’m just a very flawed girl who is trying to make it to Heaven and get my loved ones there, too.
I am not perfect. Despite all of my imperfections, I am proud of who I am and who I’m growing to be. A man recently told me that “we weren’t made to be comfortable.” He said that we are constantly being stretched like this for a reason. That if we are comfortable, something is wrong. So now I get it. These imperfections are blessings, right? They are forming and molding me to be the woman I aspire to be. Without these flaws, how will I grow? So I get it.
So why am I telling you this? I honestly have no idea. But I guess I'm just saying that you guys are wonderful people. You know why? Because you are a creation of the hand of the all-powerful King. You are strong and worthy of His love. You are GOOD. So good. And yes, you're imperfect. But that is an absolutely marvelous compliment!! You are becoming God's original masterpiece. No matter what your age, you are constantly growing and you will never stop. Now put THAT in your pipe and smoke it.
(Sorry. I had to add thug life somewhere in here.)