Sunday, March 28, 2010

Makes Me Think

I visit this website called Makes Me Think frequently. I've posted about it from time to time on here.

This week they had an entry that really melted my heart.

Today, as he rested peacefully in his hospice bed, my grandfather turned to my grandmother, smiled from ear to ear and said, "Honey, growing old with you has been a privilege." MMT


I wish that for everyone. Married life, religious life, single consecrated life. Every single one of you guys.

Oh, how wonderful it will be to be able to say that one day, right?!

Plus, I just like elderly people...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

A Few Good Men

There are two men in my life that I have become very close to.

They are loving, patient, affectionate, strong, and everything else that is good. When I'm not with them, I miss them very much. When I am with them, it's as if the harmony of the earth has been restored. Life makes sense again.

These men are good. And they care about me. I am told that when I'm not there, they miss me, too. We care about each other.

How could a girl be so lucky? What did I do to deserve such great men?

Okay, enough with the suspense, right?

Who are these guys, you ask?

Well...they are my two....



What? Is that weird? Who'd you think I meant?

Anyway, I may have been a little over dramatic... But I came home for the day to attend my brother's Confirmation, and I'm just really happy to see my boys for a little while. That's all.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Catastrophic Events of Today

I work Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at the restaurant. After having been there for about three months now, I've started to notice patterns in people.

Every Monday, this guy comes in who looks a little older than me. He is always wearing a polo, and he always sits at the sushi bar. When he leaves, he always grabs a dum-dum from my hostess stand and says thanks and goodbye on his way out.

Every Wednesday, this man and his son who also looks a little older than me come in. They either sit at table 7 if it's open or at the two end spots at the sushi bar if they are open. They look alike and every time I pass them they are talking about money, business, the economy, or something like that. They also tell me thanks and goodbye on their way out.

Every Friday, we have an influx of people from 11:15-1:00. It's always really busy or just remains at a steady pace. Either way, I don't stop moving until 1:30 rolls around. Sometimes, we're busy all the way to 2:30.

You get the picture.

Anyway, one thing I can always count on is the Tiger Weekly on Wednesdays.
Every Wednesday, someone from Tiger Weekly comes and leaves a stack on the waiting seat by the door. I can always count that when I walk in to work every Wednesday morning, the latest issues of that paper will be sitting patiently waiting for me.

Wednesday lunches aren't ever freakishly busy so I always have time to read through the issue. My favorite part of the Tiger Weekly is the Sudoku and crossword puzzles. Every Wednesday I take a paper back to my stand, read through the articles, and then take out the puzzles page. For the Sudoku section, they have an easy puzzle and a hard puzzle. Usually, I do the easy one first. You get my ego up so that I can tackle the hard one. Then I move on to the two crosswords.

Today...the most terrible thing happened.

I read through the issue like usual, and then I attempted the easy Sudoku. Except, today, the easy Sudoku wasn't easy at all! It was actually quite difficult. So I checked the hard puzzle because if I couldn't even start the easy, the hard one must be impossible, right? Well, to my surprise, the hard puzzle was exactly the same as the easy. They. misprinted. my. puzzles.

My entire day has been thrown out of whack.

I may not sleep tonight.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Tough Love

There has been something legitimately bothering me lately and I want to talk to you about it. Because I like to tell you what's on my heart. Because I feel like you and I are on that level.

It's because I like you. A lot.

If our paths cross soon, I'd like you to tell me if you agree or disagree with what I say in this post. Okay?

So I've noticed a certain habit among a surprisingly large number of people I have encountered in the past few months. I find this tendency in myself, as well, so keep in mind that I am equally at fault.

I'm talking about the exceedingly irritating habit of playing the victim.


You know what I'm referring to, right? I'm talking about the "poor me" type, the "self-pitying" type, and the like. It's terrible!!

Since when does everyone prefer to play the victim over the hero?! I call this the "victim personality." People with this type of nature find themselves as the victim of most situations that they are in. Think really long and hard if this has ever been you. I'm going to be completely honest with you right now. Because remember? You and I are tight. I have totally played the victim card a time or two. It's because I'm human and I'm SUPER flawed.

I am not sure why I have done this. I'm not sure why others do it. Is it because we want that affection and attention? Is it because we just don't want to get up and conquer a situation on our own? Maybe we're scared to do it alone? I mean, what is it?

It usually doesn't start off with someone just immediately assuming the role of the sufferer. Usually something truly painful happens and they are seriously hurt. However, time goes on but they don't move forward. They kind of just hang back at the pity party they have thrown themselves. Have you ever attended a pity party you've thrown for yourself? Well, if not, take my word on it that it is awful not only for you but for everyone you invited.

From here comes those of us who then adopt the lifelong, self-proclaimed label as the victim. I'm telling you right now. That is a serious problem. A problem I would even venture to call toxic for our generation and the future generations that will follow.

I say enough is enough.

Yes, most of us have been hurt in our lifetime. No matter how big or small the events are that leave us in pain, they are important to us, nonetheless. Something that happened to someone else that may seem pretty minuscule to you and me may have been truly traumatizing to them. We can never know how heavy each other's crosses are.

I completely agree in saying that grief is vital in healing. If you want to cry; I say cry. If you want to scream; I say scream. Get it out. Be upset. Mourn. Giving up the role of survivor is important on the journey to healing. However, there is a point after this stage is finished where we need to stand up, look our problems in the face, and take them down.

We are not victims. We need to stop acting like the victims. As sons and daughters of God Almighty, we are warriors and we are survivors.

Bad things have happened to me, too, okay? I have been hurt and there are battles I am still struggling with. But I am no victim. I'm working on it because I am a fighter and so I will fight.

We are heroes, people. We are strong.

Whether it's self-esteem issues, a heartbreaking event, or some internal struggle, we need to start moving forward. Let's ditch the pity parties. Let's wipe away our tears.

I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself and, frankly, I'm sick of the people who feel sorry for themselves from problems and situations that have happened years ago.

Let's deal with them already! Sure, it's not going to be effortless. And no, it isn't as simple as just getting over it. But it is as easy as trying and taking that first step to freedom.

This is just me giving some tough love to the people I love. I hate seeing your heart broken. I hate having to sit back and watch you fight a battle I can't help you with. In many cases, the only things that can heal you from your pain is yourself and Christ. There is nothing I can do when you are being called to be your own hero.

One more thought. Sorry, I know this is getting long and if you've made it this far, you're a saint.

Please do not misunderstand what I'm saying. When I say stand up and move forward, I don't mean alone. We need each other. I need someone to lean on and so do you. If we all help each other carry our crosses, we could get through virtually anything. Our relationships with each other are extremely important. I can't stress that enough.

So that's my rant. Let's stand up and do this. Who's with me?!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Sushi Break-Ups

If you haven't gathered this already, I'm an extremely awkward being.

Awkward things happen to me. I just wake up in awkward situations. I live in them. It's my thing.

I trip over my words, I am given weird looks for acting like a dinosaur in Wal-Mart, I get laughed at by my pastor for doing a ridiculous dance in the copy room, and I text my friends things like, "My feet shrunk."

If there is an unfortunate series of events happening at any given moment, I can betcha they have crossed my path one way or another.

If you didn't know this, I am a hostess at a sushi restaurant by my apartment. The other day, a very distraught woman and her beau walked in for lunch. I sat them at a two-seater table right by the end of the sushi bar which is where I bag all of the take-out orders that come through.

The woman was visibly upset when she first came in and only looked worse as they sat there. I was trying hard not to to hear what they were saying, but from what I could tell, the conversation between the two was SUPER tense.

As time went on, the conversation started getting a little louder.

"This doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing, John," the woman said, "Man up!!"

She kept saying, "Why are you doing this?!"

Louder and louder...

Only two other tables were seated at this time and they were on the other side of the room. The entire time this was happening, I had to keep going and standing next to them to bag orders. The man kept looking at me with these pleading eyes. I couldn't tell if they were Please-Go-Away gazes or Help-Me pleas. Either way, I kept my distance.

After a little more public commotion, they sat in silence and finished their meal.

My guess is it was some sort of break-up deal. I'm not sure.

So my question is did this man bring her to a sushi restaurant just to kick her to the curb? He may have ruined sushi for her forever...

The whole situation was extremely upsetting and awkward. I was not very graceful as I hovered next to them trying to pack orders as quickly as I could. Soy sauce packets dropped to the floor, my hip slammed into a chair as I was walking away, and I even interrupted their exchange to apologize for slamming a cabinet door...

Why, oh why do I find myself in these situations so often?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Confessions of a Nasal Decongestant-holic

I've been fighting a runny nose for about two weeks now. I had tried Zicam, Mucinex D, various nasal sprays (ew), etc. but nothing seemed to work. My nose continued to run even when I thought it couldn't possibly have anything left to give. Somehow it always did though, and it never ever stopped. That is, until one fateful day when #2 gave me a Sudafed 12 Hour nasal decongestant. Homegirl. Hooked. Me. Up.

That powerful little baby cleared up everything. I could breathe through the night, I could breathe during the day, and I could...get this...smell things again. It was magical.

I was healed.

However, there is this one minor little side effect of the pill. I'll just come right out and say it. Sudafed makes me weird. Really weird. As in, weirder than I usually am. It's extremely unfortunate. On the box it lists its side effects and among them are dizziness and restlessness. Yeah, about that...

While on it, I do weird things like text JaseFace messages like, "I think my feet shrunk," I laugh a lot, I buy songs on my iTunes account like Apolkalypse Now by Polkastra, and I babble.

So the question is do I just deal with my runny nose for the sake of propriety or do I forget dignity all together and take the darn pill so I can breathe?

I chose the latter. I like it when I can breathe.

There is ALWAYS a catch with medicine, I find. It'll fix that one problem you're having, but then you'll have a new problem.

I work in a church office two nights a week. Tonight, while at work, I was making a copies for a lovely lady who was running a class in one of the conference rooms upstairs.

(Side note: There is this song that's been stuck in my head for a week now called "King of Glory". Stephen Colbert does an amazing dance to it in this video.)

I took a Sudafed before I came to work because my nose has been crazy runny all day. So I was in the copy room making copies. I was getting fidgety so I started singing "King of Glory" and doing Colbert's dance. I was about 75% through the song when in walks the pastor a.k.a. my boss. He just stared at me, smiled, and shook his head. This may be my last night working here.

I could blame it on the medicine, or maybe I'm just like this all the time.

Maybe I'll just get a jumbo pack of tissues for tomorrow.