Monday, May 31, 2010

You a Hawse

I'm in Hot Springs, Arkansas lazing around on Lake Hamilton right now.

It is so beautiful here. I'm getting a lot of relaxation time. And you know what else? Sleep. I never sleep when I'm back at home. I always have things to do in the morning, you know?

So, basically, the one thing I've been doing a lot of is just sleeping. Staying up late at night, of course, because I'm a night owl and night is when I'm most in my element. But sleeping in and taking pointless naps. Call me lazy but you know what? Once summer school starts up and I'm working a lot, this won't be happening often or ever so I'm soaking it in, people.

Why am I making up excuses? Probably because I feel like a lazy bum but that is the point of vacation! Am I right or am I right? ...Good answer.

Another cool deal is that I'm getting to spend some time with my mom and brother. Lately, it's a rarity that I spend three days in a row with either of them at one time so this has been nice. I always forget how much Bob cracks me up.

His latest thing is explaining to all of us how he is a "hawse." Is it "hoss?"What is a "hawse," you ask? To be completely honest with you, I have absolutely no idea. Maybe a horse? But why is he calling himself a horse? I don't get it.

All I know is that he says it when he is trying to convey how manly he is.

For instance, he has a bad sunburn from our first day here, and today my mom was putting on some of that cold spray sunscreen on his back. He screamed some profanity but bleeped himself out...because he does that. (Yes, my brother bleeps himself out. No, I don't know anyone else who does that. Yes, I think it's weird.) Then he goes, "Actually, it doesn't sting because I'm a hawse. I can take it."

Not horse. It's hawse.

When talking about tubing he says, "We need to go faster because I'm a hawse."

He literally says those things.

"I have a keen sense of smell....only for Cheez-Its because I'm a hawse."


Don't ask. Just because we share the same blood doesn't mean I understand anything about that guy.

Anyway, it's been great here!

PS - The water in Hot Springs makes my hair ten times more curly than usual. Good times...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Together by Lint

JaseFace collected dryer lint for a while creating a large ball of lint.

On one of our last nights together, the Chain Gang burnt the ball of lint in the parking lot.

People wondered, "Why?"

Frankly, I don't understand why they would ask that.

Why not?

The remains...


Sorry. I get sentimental over the lint ball.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

To Hear a Tiger Roar, Press 7

You wanna know what summer means?

It means blogs start coming up about my days and how I feel.

You wanna know how I feel right now?! Nostalgic. Why? Because I miss my family of friends.

I miss her...

and him...

and her.

I miss this guy...

and this guy...

and this guy.

I miss her...

and I miss him.

Because together we are the Chain Gang. And life just makes more sense that way.

And you know what? The Glee and LOST episodes I missed tonight aren't up on the internet yet so now someone somewhere will have to feel my wrath. You heard that Hulu?! Someone will feel my Hell-Hath-No-Fury-Like-A-Woman rage and it's ALL your fault. Someone's life will end and it's because of you. one is around me right now and I'm too lazy to go find someone so consider yourself lucky...because it could have been you.

Law? What law. I am restricted by no rules or regulations...

That's all tiddle taddle.

Where was I going with this one?

All you need to know is that I miss my people.

Monday, May 17, 2010

My Robinhood

Align CenterI realized something in my heart tonight.

I think I am in love...

I know...

It's something I think I've been feeling for a little while now and I just haven't ever let myself acknowledge it. I mean, he's older than me. He lives a separate life from me. We could never work!

But you know what? I don't even care.

Russell Crowe and I are meant to be together. I know we haven't met or anything but I think if he would just have a cup of coffee with me, his heart would awaken like mine did tonight. He would see we are soul mates. SOUL MATES. As in, our souls were made for each other.

So he's two years younger than my mother...big whoop!

All I know is that on this seventeenth night of May, I opened my heart and now life just makes sense. I can see. I can hear. Food tastes so much better. Okay, so I haven't eaten anything but I can just imagine!

You may be thinking, "When did you realize? How did this happen? Kelly, you're so lucky to have found true love!"

Well, I just saw Robinhood'll just have to go see it. And then you'll understand.

Dear Russell, I'm ready for you to whisk me away to your palace in Sydney. Love, Kelly

Saturday, May 8, 2010

A Letter From Bob

Here is a thank you card from my brother for a Confirmation present I got him.

He's basically a poet.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Next to Normal

I'm weird. We are all aware of this.

Some of my friends could be reading this and agree without hesitation. My other friends may read this, disagree, and not even understand what would make me think such a thing.

Would you like to know why they disagree? It's because they're weird, too.

My close, close friends and I do really strange things. We say and do weird things everyday. I've become so accustomed to it that I have consequently leaked this behavior to people who don't understand this side of me.

Now, I'd like to consider myself a successfully functioning member of society. Socially capable, if you will.

So when I look at one of the guys I work with show him a "claw" and hiss at him...that's a nice blow to my self-esteem. When I look at some girl I hardly know and say, "Shwhatev, guhl. I do what I want," I pretty much want to go hide in some dark hole in a mountain far away.

It's gotten bad. I have absolutely no chance of making it if this continues to get worse.

I mean, what can I do?! My friends make me feel like this is all normal. I blame them for making me feel like I'm just a normal girl. And I don't help them either. If Cray-Cray growled at me, I'd just get in a pounce position to prepare myself for an attack. Who does that?!

I am not normal. I'm the weird lady with the cats....

So I just wanted to let you know that I'm currently looking for property in the Yukon and down in ol' Antarctica. Let me know if you know of any good real-estate agents for those areas. I'm not sure how cable and internet are in the those regions so this may be it for our relationship.

Please, don't be upset. It's better this way.