I have magical powers. Did you know that? Yea.
"How are you magical," you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked, sweetheart! I am a heavy sleeper. Yea. Look, I have slept through door bells, house alarms, knocking, glass shattering, hurricanes, tsunamis, riots... Perhaps, I'm getting a little carried away.
But for real, my hearts, when I sleep, it's like I fall deeply into this black abyss of wonderment and comfort. Yea. Few things can pull me out of this comatose state. I can wake up to my alarm clock (but only mine), someone yelling my name at a very high volume, or someone shaking the tar out of me. Other than those three things, I'm dead to the world. Yea.
This magical power is both a curse and a blessing. It's a curse because this means I could potentially sleep through a fire, a burglary, or something to that nature. It's a blessing because I sleep through all of those annoying morning disturbances that muggles wake up to.
Like this morning, for instance. Cray-Cray was woken up at around 7:30AM to a man banging the side of our building with what she described as a "Viking war hammer."
[Picture by Madison Hunter.]
Once, I was awake, I heard this ridiculous racket but it is not what initially rose me from my deep, peaceful slumber. Apparently, Cray-Cray was abruptly woken up by the banging and started hitting the window back at the man screaming, "No! Absolutely not!" Can anyone blame the girl? It was 7:30AM and this guy was pounding on the side of our building RIGHT outside our window!
Once I woke up, he was finishing up his little show for the morning so I missed it for the most part. Poor baby Cray-Cray. She's just a little muggle.
Dear Mr. Mean Viking Hammer Man,
Sleep in, little guy. If you don't, I will throw deviled eggs at you and your shiny little hammer. Choose wisely.
With all my love, Kelly
Thank you, Father, for giving me these magic powers. Yea.