Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Hard Habit to Break

People have all kinds of different habits.

Some people bite their nails. Others chew on their pens. Some people twiddle their thumbs. Some bounce their feet at a million miles a minute. Some people even smoke cigarettes.



I don't do any of those things.

No, I have a much stranger habit. 

*sigh* Okay...gosh...I'll tell you. You forced it out of me...

Sometimes...*deep breathe* Okay, I'm just going to say it.

Sometimes...sometimes...

SOMETIMES I TALK LIKE A BABY!!!!

....what?

You already knew that about me? You've heard me do it in public a thousand times already?

Wow...who knew?

Oh...everyone?

Gosh, well, I guess the cat's out of the bag on this one. Yes, sometimes, it just happens. I'll be mid-sentence and I'll go right into baby voice. It's second nature nowadays. I don't even realize it.

I'm twenty years old and I talk like a toddler.

I can't even break it. I try. Trust me, I do. But I just can't stop for the life of me. It's like... an addiction.

What if I'm the future President of the Unites States? What then? Will I be in the middle of a speech addressing some national matter and then just break out into 2-year-old Kelly voice? What if I can't break this habit of mine and that happens? Will they impeach me!? Am I doomed as your future president? *seizure*

What if some really great guy asks me on a date and he doesn't know this about me? He'll take me to some cute little place and we'll be talking and getting to know each other when I transform into this...this...infant. I mean, should I just quit while I'm ahead? *seizure*

I'm a total advocate for remaining a kid at heart. "Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional." I'm telling you, when I have kids, I'm going to be in that fort with them fighting right beside them in our war against the bad guys. I'll be at their tea parties, in the most extravagant attire, sharing cookies with Mr. Teddy Bear the Third. But is this voice a little too far?! What if I can't help it?! *seizure*



Look, the solution is that you'll just have to love me the way I am -- weird. Can you do that? I mean...people do weirder things....right?

*seizure*


Love, Your Future President of the United States of America

3 comments:

  1. I like the part about the seizure. pahaha.

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  2. Correction: I like the parts about the 8,000 seizures.

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  3. Oh, Kelly! You silly goose! <3

    ReplyDelete