Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Confessions of a So-Called Lady

Look, I don't care if guys keep the toilet seat up.

I'm not sure if this kicks me out of the I-Am-Woman Club, but the habit is just not one that has ever bothered me.

I actually don't understand what it is about this that bothers women so much. Is it that the task of putting the seat back down is just too heavy of a burden for us? Sure, maybe having the guys put it back down for us would be courteous. But is it worth the fight that it has become?

A friend of mine was telling me how it drives her crazy when she goes to the bathroom and the seat is up. Why?! Why does it affect XX chromosome carriers SO. MUCH? Is it such an inconvenience? 

There is always the "Well we are the ones who have to have the babies. We have to be pregnant. We have to have our menstrual cycle every single month. It's the least they can do." excuse.

Frankly, I want to light that excuse's house on fire and just get rid of it all together.

Ladies, we do not need to make men suffer because we were blessed with the gift of child birth. The GIFT of childbirth. Not the burden. It's not their fault they cannot bear children so they do not need to be blamed.

Yes, I do appreciate the door being held for me. Yes, I do appreciate the seat being placed back down. Yes, I do appreciate a man letting me go before him in line. Not because I'm incapable of opening a door, putting the seat down, or waiting in line. Simply because I enjoy being a lady and thanking a man for being such a gentleman.

The following paragraph may be too much information:

As far as our menstrual cycles. You can ask any of my roommates from the past year (Stephanie, Ashley, or Elizabeth) about how much I love when my period comes and how excited I get about it. I literally sing praises. The cramps, the cycle, the aching back. I love all of it. Why? Because my cycle tells me everything is working correctly. That this thing that's happening to my body means that one day I will be able to have a baby. That I can bring a life into the world. Your menstrual cycle is a glorious, magnificent gift. Unfortunately for the people around us, it does bring mood swings occasionally, but overall, it's so, so beautiful. It bothers me when I hear ladies complain about it all the time. I totally understand it can be painful and inconvenient and uncomfortable. And for some people it's worse than others, I know that first hand. But it means we're capable of something amazing!! Isn't that wonderful?! I am truly joyful about the whole moonflow situation. Who's with me??! *crickets*

Aaaaaanyway. That's quite enough of that.

I love being a lady. I love being feminine and adventurous. I love being both tender and fierce.

So after this confession, I ask all the women reading this:


  1. Oh my gosh...you are kicked out.

    Absolutely kidding! I haven't the authority, nor the desire, to kick you out of the I-Am-Woman-Club.

    I confess, I am one that hates the toilet seat thing...It's not because I'm a woman and think I deserve having the seat left down because I will bear children, I just don't want to touch the seat! If all men left the seat up, and kicking it back down with my little toe was part of my daily bathroom routine, I wouldn't care. It's the "Surprise, you just parked your bare tush on a smorgasbord of disgusting potty microbes!!!" that gets me. I'm not the most observant individual, and I sometimes don't see when the seat is left up. Growing up in an all female home doesn't help me out at all either, I'm just not used to it.

    That being said, I agree, women shouldn't freak out about it because they're the ones blessed with childbirth...that's obnoxious.

  2. Well, I don't want to have to touch it to put it up when I have to peezorz. So, what now, homes?

    Automated toilet seats, thats what. Copyrighting that shit.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. It only bugs me when it is someone using MY bathroom and they can't seem to handle taking the time to put down the seat. Because sometimes a girl forgets that boys have been over and plops herself down and BAM, tush in the toilet. Nast. Laziness, pure laziness.

  5. Elizabeth and Ashley, how the heck can you not see if the seat is down or not?! HAHA!!

    Michael, my thoughts exactly.

  6. I know my favorite thing is Elizabeth and Ashley's posts. They've actually completely convinced me that men should always put down the seats by nature of their argument, which can pretty much be translated to "Men should put the seat down because sometimes, girls are too dumb to realize it's up."

  7. I really hate to say this...but Kori is so right.